The minute I heard my first love story I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along.

Can you remember back to your first projected love?  I’m talking about the time when you first realized and conjured up your first ever ‘imagined’ ideal mate?  I think for most of us that we created a person in our minds that existed before we ever then projected those desires onto our first crush.  How romantic that time was.  Somebody to call to us and ignite our awareness of beauty and intimate companionship.  I remember picturing her in my head, us getting married, and no concept of time and change.  Perfection, right? I even saved a small three dimensional paper doily I had found at a family function that I kept in my top night table drawer waiting until the moment I presented it to her as my gift and symbol of anointing her my perfect eternal partner I had dreamed up decades previous.  All this, and I was 7.  I have long since lost that doily, but the memory and intention remains vivid as ever.  Then, the crushes came.  First, Ariel the Little Mermaid.  Then Susan from my grade 4 class.  Then Mrs. Humphrey, my grade six French teacher.  Then, a constantly rotating list of girls who replaced one another as the focus of my internal fancy leading up to my first real girlfriend.  Oh the poor first ‘real’ relationship and the person you then projected all your ideals, rules, concepts and lack of understanding onto.  Trying to get someone who is not you to fit all your rules for relationship and what various behaviors ‘mean’ to you is hard work.  Especially when you really want ‘the relationship’ to work out.  You are experiencing feelings so powerful, that you know are so rare to come by (mindset of scarcity) that why would you not push as hard as you can to ‘get’ this to work.  Well, you can get it to work when it really isn’t by sacrificing your self and your sanity among many other traits whose dignity we would ideally like to retain.  Or, you could lose your tension to trying to get ‘the relationship’ to work and instead have yourself, begin to ‘work’ in the present moment.  Free yourself, to be yourself, now, in the present moment with your focus only on what you are feeling this instant, and then allow your partner if you have one, to do the same.  Cherish yourself unconditionally, and you will cherish them for exactly the reasons you do yourself.  Free yourself to love, and you free them to love you. If you don’t have a true partner right now and would like one - Do this, with yourself, and they will literally be created for you.  You will attract them, and no longer have to look for someone to have ‘a relationship’ with.  It is hard enough to surrender and get in tune with the universe in the present and attract your soul mate.  It would be impossible to tune your future self to the future universe to find your future soul mate.  Open yourself now, and don’t confuse and value the effect (relationship) over the cause (true unconditional love). 

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